So I've been reflecting on the whole concept of us being "either/or" as opposed to "both/and." I'll expand on this.

In our society in and out of various communities and social circles...in our media, families, churches, schools and so on...there's a common belief that things, people and circumstances can only be one thing or the other. If we are student's we're either good, bad, or average. We're either pretty or ugly...fat or thin...good or bad...in or out. We're on our way to heaven or hell, strong or weak, positive or negative.

Yet, I understand things differently. For me, the idea is: We are created to be complex combinations of any and all of these things. I wrote a poem that I think will clarify this idea a little better.

Here I am face to face with all of my insecurities.
I'm posturing for myself and others and saying to myself that I'm either all or none of what I imagine myself to be:
I'm a writer/ No I'm not!
I'm a good leader/ A sad excuse for one.
I'm a great parent/I've ruined my children.
I'm beautiful/I'm ugly.
I'm a good worker/ A lazy moocher.
Schizophrenic thinking. I just want to pick a side and stick to it and to be either: black, red, blue, green or white.
There's no room for blended hues...pink, grey, blue, purple, indigo, or orange.
There's no such thing as being universal and Christian.
Faithful/and adaptable.

We can't not indulge and indulge at the same time...
Be chaste and sexual beings...
Be women and intelligent...
Be Men and sentimental...
Black and beautiful...
Rich and compassionate.
We have to pick one because that's the way of the world...right?

We get all these messages telling us to be individuals...to be ourselves.
But only if we pick a side. If we fit in. If we march to the same drummer other groups of individuals are marching to.

So we conform:
We wear their clothes,
Speak their language,
Go to their schools,
Put on their facepaint,
Master their expressions,
Pick up their mannerisms...
We even suppress our own truths so that we can understand and live someone else's.

To really be authentic...to be any and all of who we are is scary.
Lonely.
Hard.
Sometimes painful.

But it's okay not to fit in.
It's okay to be different in many ways...
To be a melange of colors.
To bend and sway until we touch the ground...
Because we're here...

We're here.
And although we can transform, evolve, and grow,
We can't change who we are...that we are.
What we can do is love our, imperfect, pluralistic selves anyway.

Prayer For the Journey:

Today, may we find the love in our hearts to accept our imperfect selves just as we are. May we reach deep and touch the heart of our purpose and be courageous enough to walk in it.