This semester, I’m taking a course in Pastoral Care and Counseling. One of our main focuses this semester is the focus on listening. It seems such a simple concept and one which many of us feel we’re adept at, especially those of us who are leaders. I have always imagined myself to be rather an exceptional listener. However one our class assignments showed me that there is always room for improvement. Our task was to practice listening for 30 min. without interrupting, asking questions, or losing our focus on what was being said by our partner. We were instructed to watch for any thoughts or other things which would distract us from paying close attention to what was being said. I realized quite early on that I could use some practice when I laughed at a very inappropriate moment. I was so eager to let my partner know that I was available to listen that I jumped the gun and responded before they’d completed their sentence. It was a somber occasion, one which didn’t merit laughter. I felt awful of course, but appreciated the moment as one which held a valuable lesson: One cannot listen and presume or assume to know what it being said at the same time.
I think problems arise when we are not ready or able to receive the message of the person we are listening to. This could occur for any reason at all. It might be because we do not agree with their lifestyle. Their story may come too “close to home” in some wounded area of our own lives. Perhaps we just don’t care for this individual and therefore we do not care to hear what they have to say. What ever the case, when we fail to listen to someone whether it is a colleague, congregant, friend, parent or child, we send a message of our own. Just like that misplaced laugh, which said, “I know you’re talking, but I don’t hear what you’re saying.” We send out the message I’m not available to hear you.” Emma Justice in her book, Hearing Beyond the Words, speaks about a posture of listening. Contrary to this posture being an external or physical one, it is an internal and spiritual posture. In it we are still, and quiet... poised and ready to receive not only the words that are being said, but the message which is being given. What is your posture of listening?
I think problems arise when we are not ready or able to receive the message of the person we are listening to. This could occur for any reason at all. It might be because we do not agree with their lifestyle. Their story may come too “close to home” in some wounded area of our own lives. Perhaps we just don’t care for this individual and therefore we do not care to hear what they have to say. What ever the case, when we fail to listen to someone whether it is a colleague, congregant, friend, parent or child, we send a message of our own. Just like that misplaced laugh, which said, “I know you’re talking, but I don’t hear what you’re saying.” We send out the message I’m not available to hear you.” Emma Justice in her book, Hearing Beyond the Words, speaks about a posture of listening. Contrary to this posture being an external or physical one, it is an internal and spiritual posture. In it we are still, and quiet... poised and ready to receive not only the words that are being said, but the message which is being given. What is your posture of listening?
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